Why Are People Morons?

Originally written Dec. 6, 2004


Being at a liberal arts college you would think intellectual students that are smart and intelligent in most capacities would surround you. This idea has come into question after the recent string of fire alarms and fire extinguisher discharges in the South Ben dormitory.
I submit that on the whole, kids at F&M care about one another. But then, there are some that have no common sense or decency, and therefore should either be wiped from the gene pool or dismissed from school due to their constant interruptions to the liberal arts learning environment. Personally, I think something evil and cruel done to them would be most funny and appropriate (long walk off a short pier with cement shoes). But, to be the bigger person you never want to stoop to their inconceivably low level of disrespect.
Honestly, who thinks to themselves: “Golly, it’s 1:32am, sounds like a good time to grab that red fire extinguisher, pull out the nice little safety pin and go buck-wild with it. Not only will everyone have to come out of the dorms, but they will have to stay outside or find someplace to be for the next four hours.” What makes this scenario even better is the recent key fob debacle. So kids, where are you going to go when your trusty fob does not let you into any other building but your own? Where are you going to go when in a sleeping stupor you forgot your trusty student directory to call a friend on a cool yellow callbox? Where are you going to go when every other campus building is closed? Where are you going to go for 4 hours when it is cold, wet and rainy outside? The obvious answer to all of these could be your girl- or boyfriend’s place. But are you really rude or desperate enough that you’d bang on their window or call them when you know they have to be up at 8am for class? I tend to think not; unless you are one of the inconsiderate morons of which I speak of above.
So, in conclusion, although there is nothing that we as smart liberal arts students can do to inflict pain and suffering on unknown people, we are left to “police ourselves”. Good thing this idea is only good in theory. When in actuality, if kids were brought up to be smart and courteous there would not be such problems. And if you want to throw in excuses of possible intoxication or substance abuse, you too should be categorized as someone that not only has no common decency but also is a complete waste of space. Finally, as I have noticed: stupidity cannot really be helped, but common sense should be taught as a class.