Monday, February 27, 2006

OOOPS, Sorry I Shot You in the FACE

Vice President Dick Cheney shot a dude in the motherfucking face. Not the quails flying overhead, not even a goddamn extremity. Who the hell does that? What type of message does it send the country trying to hunt down terrorists when the second in command shoots a guy in the mug? It can either say: “we’re willing to shoot anyone, and don’t get in my way, you stupid asshole” or “I can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys even when they’re wearing bright orange hunting regalia.” Neither sounds great to me.
How does one shoot a person by accident, in the face no less? Well, first you have to start with a dash of conservative politics. I don’t know the exact figures, but I’ve met more conservative hunters than liberal ones. Then, mix in guns. Those conservatives loooooove their guns. Pretty much any guns too. They think any Tom, DICK, or Sally should be allowed anything below a rocket launcher. Evidently it helps to shoot someone in the face when you’ve had a few beers too. If the reason Cheney didn’t come out and say he popped a guy in the face for a whole day was because he was drinking, doesn’t that make you think he was blacked-out-loaded when the administration planned the invasion of Iraq?
The whole incident makes me think our VP is actually Elmer Fudd; hunting people not waskaly wabbbits. I would think in normal circumstances wouldn’t the perpetrator of shooting a guy in the face (accidentally or not) probably face (sorry for the awful pun) some sort of legal ramifications? Supposedly this guy he shot is, or should I was was, a friend? If he was a close friend, how do you apologize for something like that? The apology in college would be something like, “ohhhhh shit dude, fuck man, I’m soo sorry….want to grab another beer sometime? It’s totally my bad man.” The apology in the Adult World would be, “I’m terribly sorry for this tragic accident that should have been prevented by looking where I was pointing my gun when I fired it. I’ll pay for your medical bills.”
I wish I were a high-ranking politician, if only because I could play paintball with live ammunition. Do you think they killed any quail that day? Was it like touch football that gets out of hand and you say to your buddy, “awww c’mon it can’t hurt that much. Walk it off man.” It’s doubtful Cheney’s hunting pal was able to do much of anything after his run-in with the VP’s buckshot.

I Hate People

I hate people, but I love individuals. This mantra of mine has been in development since I was an early teenager. The philosophy stems from a wide variety of personal experiences and interactions with the public. As I turn 22 this week I feel like my experiences are only going to grow with people and their consistent terrible performance.
People are mean. People are inconsiderate. People are selfish. People are assholes. People are polluting our beautiful world. People commit rape, murder, arson, and rape. People are insensitive. People are numb. Why? Indifference. It doesn’t affect you, why should you care?
Individuals are generous, caring, loving, respectful, kind, helpful, thoughtful, and wonderful. These certain people are kept as close as possible and make the terrible world we live in all the more tolerable. In certain cases they even turn our little microcosms into the most splendid places anywhere.
How do I know this universal truth? I have seen it in action. Through working retail. Through people watching. Through living. People suck, but the little things are what keep me coming back for more. Somewhere along the way, out of nowhere an unexpected individual makes my mental burden light as a feather. These are the types of individuals that go unnoticed by people. People just want, want, want. What they need is a swift kick in the ass. Except, the individuals who are above that, and this fact is what makes them an individual and not one of the flock.
In the F&M community that we hold so dear I would consider there to be very few individuals. You can never know all of them and most likely they will go unnoticed. When I left high school I was desperate to leave the society of cliques. I had heard of this great place called College where people are free to choose who they spend their time with. Walk in different circles, start new, grow, develop, change and mature. Unfortunately, I have come to conclude that most need more than four years to go through this process, and some will need a lifetime.
What makes me superior? Nothing. But I do know that it is a personal goal to be one of these individuals that gives more than he takes. I’m not the Dali Llama with the flowing robes, the grace…. The miracles I hope to perform in my lifetime are ones that are on an individual basis. People are content just to be self-serving and make themselves happy. This is okay to an extent. Isn’t it more rewarding to make others happy and think of someone else for a change? Think for a moment, if people in the world worried about making others happy. They wouldn’t have to worry about making themselves happy because they’d have so many others already looking out for them.
I realize this holier-than-thou attitude may come off as brash, mean, or immature but it doesn’t come without firsthand experience. How many times has a door been shut in your face that could just as easily been held. How many times has someone said, “just do whatever, I’m on the cell.” How many times do you buy some underage punk beer so that you can get on their good side and meet his or her roommate? How many times a day do you think about how your actions make someone else feel?
Often people make decisions that end up hurting an individual. These individuals pour their being into making other people happy. Individuals are the ones that end up getting hurt, not the other thoughtless people. This sucks. If people took the time to step back, analyze their actions and think about an individual this scenario wouldn’t happen. But because people are so self-consumed conflict and contention are the end result.
Maybe you think I’m an asshole, maybe you think I’m the greatest thing since low-carb beer, sliced bread, the wheel, and obsessively flavored soda combined. Either way, I’m gonna keep trying to make you happy until I’m either too tired or too cynical to keep trying. If you want to give then give, but do it for them, not for you. Be an individual. Don’t fall into the crowd of people. And finally, that golden rule we learned in kindergarten just seems to ring so very true: Do unto others, as you would hope they’d do unto you.