Friday, May 05, 2006

Open Letter

Dear:
Stupid-Blonde-Bitch-
Who-Answers-Her-Phone-
In-The-‘Quite-Please’-
Section-Of-The-Library-
During-Finals-Week-
To-Have-A-Conversation-
With-Her-Frat-Boy-Boyfriend-
As-If-No-One-Is-Around-
Trying-To-Study-For-Exams-
That-Are-Supposed-To-Cover-
Two-Thousand-Years-Of-Chinese-Art,
-Derivatives,-Organic-Chemistry,
-Foreign-Policy-Of-The-Last-Century,
-And-Possibly-Everything-Mark-Twain-Ever-Wrote—


Please shut the hell up before I come over and grab your $200 cell phone and throw it violently (but quietly) to the floor shattering it into a million serene pieces.